Have you encountered this aswell? You want to learn something new, you want to get involved and help other people or do something good for them. Maybe it’s a book you’ve written, a song you’ve composed, or a consultation you want to offer to interested people. You’re already proud of what you’ve created. Learning and creating comes easily to you. And then, suddenly you feel different. Not quite so proud anymore. A thought has crept in, “Who am I to suggest anything to others?”. With the thought comes a bit of discomfort and that leads to nothing. You don’t move forward anymore.
Why is that?
Would it help you to know that no matter when and where we live, we humans have these thoughts every now and then: “We are not enough” and “There is something wrong with us”? That triggers fear in us. Anxiety doesn’t feel good and when we feel anxious, however strong that feeling is, we behave differently than when we feel comfortable. We tend to be more reserved. We then tend to do things that we would otherwise put off. Suddenly, tidying up, cleaning or renovating is attractive. We binge-watch entire series on Netflix or in the media libraries because it just feels right. We dodge what we would much rather be doing.
Thoughts come and go – thoughts are like waves on the beach.
Waves on the beach come and go. There are small waves and big waves. Their size depends on the weather and the condition of the beach. Sometimes the waves ripple along small, then a bigger one comes, it breaks against your knee and the water splashes up to your face. It’s always unpredictable. We accept the waves on the beach because that’s the way it is. It’s always been that way and it always will be. Waves at the beach are small and big, calm and wild, relaxing and exciting, exhilarating and scary.
When the thoughts, “I’m not enough” and “There’s something wrong with me” keep coming, I can’t stop them and I don’t have to. We can think of ourselves on the beach at a time like this. We stand with our feet in the water, we see the thoughts come and flow away. Sometimes our thoughts surprise us like a wave that breaks at the knee and makes a single drop of water shoot up to the eye. The surprise is great, but dismissed with a wipe of the hand.
The trick is to give more space to other thoughts: What and for whom are you grateful? Who or what do you love? Who or what makes you feel humble? Who or what makes you wonder? Who or what triggers admiration in you?
These thoughts guide us to beautiful feelings that motivate us. It enables us to open up. And when we are open, we naturally discover the many ways to communicate.