My niece is a soccer enthusiast. She has a lot of power: muscle power and willpower. I really admire her for that. She keeps pushing forward. She pushes against resistance.
Today I learned that her new coach sees her differently. He has taken her off the active team and put her on the bench.
The bench is a place of disappointment and frustration, especially when you don’t get to play.
On the bench, you might ask yourself, „Why do I train so hard to sit here? What is my role on this team? What is my value?“ These thoughts can really pull you down.
While sitting on the bench, it is difficult to see any progress. It seems even harder to get back into the game.
What do you hope for? Do you hope that someone needs to be replaced? Do you hope to get a new trainer?
Are you convinced that you just need to practice harder and improve your skills?
How do you deal with your frustration? How do you regain the positive attitude and confidence that you will be seen when you show up?
What is it for you? Have you ever been in a similar situation? Are you in one now?
My niece’s willpower is strong. The coach may have hurt her pride, but she shows up every time. She goes the extra mile. She practices to get through this situation. She will come back stronger.
Between you and me, I don’t like this kind of training. A man decides that you are not good enough. He tells you that. He shows you your place. He points to the bench.
That disempowers people.
We all need the opposite. We need people who speak to us with kind words. People who inspire us to grow and improve. People who live their lives by example.
We need people who set realistic and fantastic goals and break them down into achievable smaller steps. At best, stretching and reaching the steps, milestones and goals will be fun.
We need people who don’t give up, who keep working toward their goals, and who show that they achieve them.
That is fair play to me.
Fair play includes the activity of playing. We all can and should play. You, my niece, and I all play our own games. We get stronger and better at what we do. I am convinced that the door of opportunity will open for us again and again. So let’s play fair, trust, and motivate each other to be ready for that open door!
Take care.
